“Where there is love there is life” - Gandhi
Romance. In the beginning, it’s about candlelight dinners, walks on the beach, holding hands, flowers, and talking until dawn—you know, the stereotypical ingredients of what happens when two people fall in love. Now, fast forward five or ten years. Mystery and romance are hard to find among the daily chores. Life becomes about organization, not spontaneity. You divvy up who does what and when: dishes, cooking, shopping, kids, etc.
For many women, it’s shocking (and a little scary) to realize that these days, your romantic fantasy is less about knights in shining armor and more about your husband wearing an apron as he finishes washing the dishes, after having cooked a full meal and tucked the children in bed. Where did the magic go? You think. And is there any way to get it back? The answer is yes—but that magic might look different from what you’re expecting.
In the beginning of a relationship, romance often does take the form of getaways, special dinners, and stolen kisses. But over time, my marriage has matured and my family has grown—I’m sure you can relate! These days, rather than receiving a box of chocolates, romance for me is an action that says I’ve been thinking of you—desiring you.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking that romance has to be, look, and feel a certain way. It doesn’t have to take hours or cost a lot of money. Instead, it’s about paying attention to the details that matter to your partner, and keying into what the other person finds special and surprising.
Here are some thoughtful and cost-effective tips you can share with your husband to woo you on Valentine’s Day:
1) Instead of planning a big, fancy dinner at a trendy restaurant, wait until the kids are in bed, then light a candle and pour both of us a glass of wine.
2) Instead of sprinkling rose petals on the bed and, well…you know…a foot rub or a slow dance in the living room will do.
3) Instead of bringing flowers, ask our kids to draw me a picture of a beautiful bouquet.
4) Instead of planning a weekend away, call me at lunchtime and say, “Meet me at the park—we’re having a picnic.”
5) Instead of buying me expensive lingerie, call me in the middle of the day and ask me what I’m wearing—even if you know it’s yoga pants and a T-shirt.
The important thing to remember is that creativity, thoughtfulness, and love outweigh time, money, and over-the-top effort every time when it comes to keeping the magic alive in the midst of everyday life.