Shocking Beauty Secrets


"The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.. " - Audrey Hepburn

What do snail goo, nightingale poop and whale vomit have in common? They are all beauty secrets, and no wonder women keep them secret! Who’d want to admit paying $180 to have bird poop smeared on your face, no matter how chic the salon?

Could it really be we have come to that, so desperate to be beautiful and wrinkle-free that we are willing to become intimately involved with animal offal? We all want that glow, but really, if it’s a chemical reaction your skin has to excrement, I’m not so sure it’s worth it.

Believe it or not, this is the new “natural” trend in beauty. Take your pick - snail secretion or sperm facial. Both are being offered at high-end salons around the world. But sperm will cost you $250 for ten minutes, as opposed to the relatively cheap snail facial - a whole hour of goopy green concoction for only $175! Maybe you’re lucky you can’t afford the price tag.

Cleopatra was said to actually bathe in sperm. It’s called a “roman” bath, and yes, Cleo had hired hands on-call daily. She also slept in a gold mask to keep her face youthful. The Japanese are doing this today: 24K gold facials made of thin strips of gold laid across your face.

Other weird ingredients in cosmetics:

  • Bat guano, whale vomit in perfume
  • Baby foreskin, sperm, placenta, snail goo in anti-aging creams
  • Bull semen in hair treatment
  • Gorilla snot in hair gel
  • Earthworm excrement, snake venom in moisturizers

Call me crazy, but why should beauty be so punishing? Society already dictates we practically starve or surgically enhance ourselves to be beautiful, yet we already know it’s a scam - this fake idea of beauty we’re being sold in the commercials. We already know the photos are airbrushed, perfection is impossible. But still we keep trying.

Do these extreme beauty products actually work? Of course everyone selling them swears by them, even if the bird poop facial has to have rice meal additive to take away the bad smell.

The placebo effect is real: Whatever beauty products you use, if you feel beautiful, you begin to actually look beautiful. Everyone can attest to the simple beauty acts of a pedicure or facial to lift your spirits. You can spend $20 or $200 on beauty treatments, and the only real difference is in what you believe about yourself. That’s what all of life comes down to.

Too often women look in the mirror only to see what needs correcting. How many times do we look at ourselves with love & appreciation?

What makes me feel beautiful? Positive thoughts, a night out with girlfriends in a great pair of jeans, and the best concealer money can buy (sans snail goo).

We ARE beautiful, each and every one of us. It’s good to remind ourselves as often as we can. So slip into those jeans, give your best girlfriends a call, hit the town and smile - which (fact) instantly makes you look 3 years younger.


Princess Ivana